CREATING POSITIVE CHANGE
Updated: Apr 30
I coached a lot of people this week who have been judging and shaming and feeling wound up by other people’s behavior.
Myself included, to be honest.
Our neighbors returned from vacation and didn’t quarantine.
Kids were playing on the metal play structure at the playground.
The person who delivered our groceries was wearing a mask.
Being a coach doesn’t make me immune to having negative thoughts and feelings, they are a part of life after all.
But applying coaching skills and tools keeps me from staying stuck and helps me feel better and empowered to create positive change.
If you’re feeling angry and frustrated about other people’s behavior, there’s a better way to get what you want too.
And what you really want is for other people to behave a certain way so that you feel safe and some sense of control in all this uncertainty.
But the truth is, you have no control over anyone’s behavior.
It doesn’t matter how strong the science or how heavy the fines.
Think about all the people who drive under the influence with a suspended license.
People have their own autonomy and will make their own choices, just like you.
It’s a complete waste of time to try to get them to change or wish they would.
It leaves you feeling powerless and it creates a lot of unnecessary emotional suffering for you.
It’s also completely unproductive to judge and shame others into positive action. People aren’t motivated by hatred and guilt.
And thinking hateful thoughts creates more hate in the world. Being unwilling to try to understand others creates more ignorance.
Ironically, you end up behaving in a way that is the opposite of what you want, which is for people to make choices out of care and consideration for each other.
Here’s the thing: people don’t try to suck at life. Everyone is doing the best they can, even if they come up short.
Now, I’m not saying you have to like other people’s behavior. I’m saying you don’t have to give them emotional authority over you.
Humans do things we don’t like. Accept that reality so that you can release your anger and resentment, simply because it feels better.
It also allows you to show up calm and kind and for people to respond more positively.
So, if you know someone who isn't quarantining, offer to safely drop off some essentials until they can get a grocery order.
Or, make a donation for masks and gloves for healthcare workers.
Conserve your mental and emotional energy and use it towards actions that you feel good about and will make a positive contribution to solving the problem.
This is how you empower yourself to create the kind of world you want to live in, now and after the pandemic.
If this resonates with you and you’d like to learn how to feel more peace and empowerment, email me to book a FREE coaching session: firstname.lastname@example.org