FEEL BETTER NOW
Updated: Oct 1, 2019
Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön says: It’s not life that causes suffering, it’s our story about life—our interpretation—that causes so much distress. When we practice interrupting the story we’re telling ourselves, we can find a new freedom and flexibility in the face of uncertainty and change.
Okay, but how? I used to be constantly triggered by my partner, my child, family and people I work with. This is the powerful process that I learned and what I help my clients practice and master so that they can have the freedom they long for and feel better:
Practice Staying Present
When you start to notice your deeper thoughts and stories about the circumstance that you think is triggering you, it creates space for your mind to get some perspective from your thoughts, which aren’t actual facts, and for you to fully embrace what you’re feeling instead of avoiding. Just because your boss gives you critical feedback on your work, doesn’t mean you’re a terrible employee. Just because your husband doesn't do his share of the housework, doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Yes, really.
Disrupt Your Thoughts
When you stop repressing your thoughts and feelings and start to notice how you're thinking and feeling, it interrupts the thought pattern, so you don’t get hooked and spiral into unhelpful behaviors. This will allow you to show up with confidence when getting critical feedback, stay present with your feelings while engaging with your boss instead of your habitual pattern of self-loathing, panicking or getting defensive.
Tell a New Story
We create our future with every thought we think and every action we take. This is very empowering when you think about it: you can create whatever future self and life you want for yourself by changing your thoughts. So, instead of believing that you aren’t good enough, you can decide that you’re amazing. Let that sink in for a moment.
When we think we are triggered by situations, our partners, children, in-laws, friends or co-workers, they are actually showing us where our work is. Your resistance to any situation or person in your life reflects your resistance to who you truly are. They can all be your greatest spiritual teacher, if you’re willing.
It’s hard to confront our inner struggles and to admit that we may be wrong in what we think and believe, but this discomfort is necessary for true growth and lasting change.
What are you being triggered by that you would love to have more freedom and peace with?
If you’re ready to go beyond resistance to experience and feel the goodness of being human, I can help with the application of these concepts. I have practical tools and daily support to coach you when you’re right in the middle of feeling triggered.
It takes consistent practice and support to rewire our brains and make true, lasting change.
Get in touch, I’d love to help.